NSexFW

December 11, 2013

Wherever you turn, wherever you look, whatever you listen to, hell even your toilet paper contains sexually explicit material. And then people wonder why everyone is going round looking for magazine and movies containing nudity. We live in a society that has a love-hate relationship with sex, we are sheltered from its evil influence and told that sexual activities before marriage can shatter the very core of the solar system! Such heinous acts are condemned and we shall burn in hell forever even if we just think about kissing someone, let alone kissing someone of the same gender.

Privasee

December 5, 2013

Privacy is defined as a noun, a state in which one is not observed or disturbed by other people. Being alone without anyone knowing what you might be doing in your room. Perhaps you are scheming to build a small nuclear warhead to tease a neighboring country because their news network is badmouthing your elementary school, seems possible, doesn’t it? Oh, you think it’s impossible to build one out of ordinary household items? Well in that case, why in the Nine Hells would anyone check on me whether I am building one? And for your information, I am building a hydrogen bomb out of bottle caps, a squirrel and a broken toilet seat, yeah I went full MacGyver, what are you going to do now non-spying government?

Idiocracy

November 29, 2013

You open your wee little eyes to the rays of morning sunshine dancing vividly on your eyelids and with a great smile you chase the remainder of your dreams away, you stretch while making wild animals noises and you know, no, you feel it is going to be a wonderful day. As you get up and start making your breakfast, the phone rings, an unknown number, well might as well answer it, “Hi, is this Steve?”, you let out a polite ‘no’, hang up and carry on. But wait! The phone rings again, the same thing, same answer. BUT WAIT! It rings again! The same bloody person asking the same bloody question, the same bloody answer! BUT HOLD ON A FRICKING MINUTE, it rings again. Then you ask that person if he is deaf so he can’t see that he keeps dialing the same number over and over and over and over again? What a way to ruin the morning.

Idontfeellikeitis

November 24, 2013

You decided, you want to do this, you sit down, you prepare yourself to get down to business, you grab that mouse, start typing and actually doing your work, and after maybe 4 seconds, you just don’t feel like it. Yes. You drop whatever you were doing and stop doing whatever you were up to, because you don’t feel like it. Hold on, I have to go do nothing because I don’t feel like writing anymore. Anyway, as I was trying to point out, Idonfeellikeitis is not to be confused with Procrastinitis, they are two completely different things. When infected by the Idontfeellikeitis you just simply don’t have the will to do anything constructive nor destructive. You just sit there like a plant, performing some kind of photosynthesis, and just existing, but not doing anything.

Blackest white lies.

November 15, 2013

Hey son, are you studying? – Sure I am mom, I am just reviewing one last time before my exam. Boy, how many times have we said that line, right? Right? Aw what, nobody does that anymore? I swear you guys have no life experience. Anyway, white lies are a good way to get out of sticky situations, they are not technically lies, but they are. You won’t hurt anybody feelings with a white lie, but it just might buy you enough time to do something that you forgot. And if not, hey, you can always chain white lies together, right? Not like anyone can find out if you were actually sick, or if you were actually at a different place than you said, oh wait, thanks to social media you can’t just go around telling whatever you feel like, because people can check up on you. Back in the 90s you could just tell your parents you will spend the night with a friend of yours and nobody would know that you actually smuggled nuclear weapons for some random terrorist organization. Nowadays, you can’t go without sneezing and half of the world knowing about it.

Serene tranquility

November 9, 2013

That last minute before your alarm clock goes off, the precious last bite before you finish your meal, the last cookie in the jar, those feelings of happiness and sadness mixed are some of the most incredible feelings, something close to nirvana. Alright, there are other situations as well but that’s beside the point. We all have our tranquil moments and rituals. Some enjoy a good session of relaxation with a book and a bottle of wine, or perhaps a run in the woods. Others enjoy listening to music, creating something or just doing some yard work. We shouldn’t forget the new generation way of finding your inner peace, playing overly violent, gory, explicit games, and boy does it feel good to carve someone a new face after a long and exhausting day.

Of Monsters and Men

November 2, 2013

Remember when creatures of the night were frightening? Remember when monsters had one sole purpose, to kill everything non-monster in sight, without any second doubts or any feelings attached? When zombies were ruthless flesh-tearing killers, when werewolves were actually bloodthirsty coldhearted predators and when vampires DID NOT sparkle in the Sun. Seriously, sparkling vampires, I guess they got hung up on the disco era or something. If only Lord Dracula knew what would happen to monster society he probably would have done something about it. And if only Cain knew what abomination the vampires would become, I bet he would have made sure that people would fear vampires and other creatures more.