What is this ... music?

Late Saturday night, staying in, grabbing some snacks and drinks, channel surfing like a madman, one channel makes me stop. What is this? A two-hour rock marathon, hell’s bells I’ll watch that! Get all comfy, wait for the whole shindig to start. And then disappointment strikes me like the meteor struck the dinosaurs. I was mislead and lied to! This is not what I have been promised! I wanted loud guitar solos, screaming, fireworks, leather! Ok, just breathe, calm down, music has changed, that must be all. I was partially right.

The music industry changed so drastically in such a short time that it is unbelievably hard to follow. I remember the days when I could name ten artists and they were the bees knees. Now new artists are popping up like mushrooms after a heavy night of rain. Alright, that is all fine and dandy, everyone has a right to express their creative ideas, I can respect that. But scratching a polar bear with biodegradable chairs to get the perfect c-sharp scream for your all natural unplugged non-instrument Sunday afternoon band is just stretching it, isn’t it now? And, oh boy, there are so many genres of music, that even subgenres have subgenres! I don’t even know how to browse music anymore. Do I look for party-monkey-dirty-rock-screamo-emo-drumb’n’bass or do I search in the instrumental-pop-metal-techno-viking section? I don’t think even a map would help me.

And the whole this genre music vs. that genre music, the headaches! Who cares what you listen to, I mean, don’t be annoying. You like a certain type of music, good for you, now get lost, I don’t want to be reminded every five seconds what your music taste is. Just stop spamming, stop it, STOP! Music is like religion, don’t preach about it and keep it to yourself. No seriously, if you like little boys singing high notes, that’s radical, but I like my brain to pulverized by such heavy basses it would demolish your house.

I imagine that people sharing their music on social networks are actually doing the following: They have a bus, loaded with speakers, and they park in front of your house, and just start playing their favorite songs. Now, personally I don’t mind listening to a few songs, but for the love of all that is sugary, just don’t! Get headphones, they are cheap as dirt and yet so useful to society. Although, it would be funny pitting these people with music-zealots, imagine a free rap battle between them, substitute free rap with swords, and battle with last man standing. Whoever wins will still be ignored by the majority of society.

We all like different things, and we should, the world would be such a boring place if everyone liked the same thing. For that reason stop forcing me to like what you like. The only thing you can get from me is my honest opinion, but don’t cry if I disagree with you. I have a different taste, and if you push your luck I might even develop a taste for flesh. Yeah, you better run!

I have already figured out what the next trend in music will be, don’t even bother asking I am not sharing!

By Dejan Vicai