Stones That Bind Us Together

 

The first bright ray of Sun has embarked on a journey. Morning Contemplation
Next to the bed on a table a gun, my life’s attorney.
I am persecuted throughout the day and night.
And the dreams don’t tell me wrong from right.

And there is no one to see,
there is no one to hear ‘n’ believe.
And there is no one to understand,
no one to take the burden away with a hand.

And there I am all alone,
the edge, the crossroad and I’m gone.
And there is a window, a vision,
an old lady dancing with death, and decision.

If one had a room of one’s own,
and if that room had a door,
to open it and enter,
just be tender…

The time still moves and flows, and the show has gone on.
A rope not touching the floor, next to a party going on.
I am haunted while dreaming or being awake.
Falling eternally into the night like a snow flake.

And there is no one to catch
me in the dark, no place for a rematch.
And there is no one to keep me sane,
no one to take it away, my one and only bane.

And there I am all alone,
the edge, the crossroad and I’m gone.
And there is a window, a vision,
an old lady dancing with death, and decision.

If one had a room of one’s own,
and if that room had a door,
to open it and enter,
to heart be tender…

But then, I were…

Leaving the room and the house, it seemed that it called.
A spirit, a fay, or even a spouse, enchanted and summoned.
I touched his mind: a knife, gas, razor and the window.
Metal fence held him far from the eyes of a widow.

And there is no one in the room,
just an emptiness, while outside is doom.
And there is no one to keep me from his mind,
no one to stop me, to hold me. I’m walking blind.

And there I am all alone,
the edge, the crossroad and I’m gone.
And there is a window, a vision,
an old lady dancing with death, and decision.

But then, I were…

Walking in your steps, I followed you from behind.
Observing the life and its gaps through your eyes I find
it difficult not to do the same what you did.
Was it real? I cannot tell. I fell. I didn’t slid.

When reaching a shore I was not that brave.
I had clung to my life, my life I wanted to save.
Spirit of the river whispered to me,
it wanted to carry me far to the sea.

I touched the stones on the shore, and one by one,
my pockets were full and then you were gone.
Being one with the river, an overflow
to life was nothing but a strong blow.

I contemplated life, death and time, and I followed you.
Step by step the way was trodden, while I’m feeling the blue.
But I betrayed you, and I got scared, and I went away.
I was crossing a bridge of stone-gray.

Time ticking hours that pass one, two, three…
A constant reminder of ours that time will not set us free.
Stones in the pockets binded us.
We weren’t happy, but Fortune, please find us…

– Virginia Woolf tribute (contemplation of suicide)

By Душан Ковљен

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