Phoenix – Part Five

A boy and a girl talked. She reached out to him, because she needed inspiration. She needed to talk to someone completely out of the stories currently happening. She needed to get away, to reach a safe place. To understand her emotions. To understand love.

.craig / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

‘Love is something you can always expect to come back. Sometime though it doesn’t as it takes awhile for some people to see the love you gave them. Maybe they won’t return it to you but they will send it on to someone else.
They say some till the ground, some plant the seed. Some water it. But only one reaps the harvest.
And not everyone can always harvest.’ began he, explaining.

‘Somehow, love is making me sad.’ she said, realizing the bitter truth she just said.

‘Why are you suffering for love?’ he was curious.

‘Because I never had any’ she started explaining, not even sure in her answer yet. ‘Not the way I wanted it, in fact. Never returned.’ she frowned. ‘My only experience with love is sadness.’

‘Well maybe you have certain expectations of how that love should be. And therefore you don’t see the other forms of love that come your way’ he said, and he was right in one point. When she loved, she was blind to see everything else. And everyone else.

‘Well, it has been like that in the past.. I’ve lost years loving someone who never even noticed it’ she remembered. ‘I hope it won’t be like that in the future’ she sighed.

‘It’s not wasted. Maybe that person loved you too but just not in the way you would have liked it to be. It’s love nonetheless.’

‘I guess I’m just too afraid..Because I love with all my body and soul. And when, someday, I get that back, I will be too afraid to lose it’ she admitted her true fear.

‘I’ve had situations in which I would love people but never revealed it to them fully. Kind of like being a guardian angel. They were always girls I couldn’t be with for different complex reasons.’ now he started opening up.
‘So I just loved them with everything I had and most of all prayed for them. And they may never find out or know what I did. But it’s not wasted…’

‘I think that you cannot gain something if you don’t wish for it. Out loud. Telling people how you feel is always a better option, because they could have similar feelings’ and as she said that, she thought of all the situations when she never said anything, being afraid. She thought of all the people she loved with all her heart, who would dismiss that love like it was a piece of used paper. But, she never regretted things she did. Only those she hadn’t have the courage to do. But, on a second thought, she realized that all the people who have dismissed her love never actually deserved it. She was most certainly not sorry for giving it to them, because, at one point, they deserved to be loved. And she loved to love. It made her feel alive. Made her have hope. And hope is the only thing that keeps us going on. Pushing harder to accomplish what we want.

He broke the silence and her chain of thought. ‘What you say with your actions is more than words. I’m sure they noticed the love even if it was not verbal in most cases. Sometimes it was better to not distract them from the road they were on. Sometimes they already had someone. What maters is that they saw someone gave them something but wanted nothing in return.’

Bluevelvet / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

‘Love is a foul creature. It sneaks up on you while you sleep and enters every cell you have. It gives you moments worth remembering, but in the end, it leaves a hole in you’ she said this, not really sure if that was the description of love she wanted to share with the world. In the end, love is love, and it is the most powerful and positive thing in the world, and her making it into a negative thing made her question her feelings towards herself.

‘I think you are talking about obsession. Love doesn’t leave you that way. Love is too pure. You have to completely leave yourself behind to use it fully in all it’s beauty. I think we don’t always fully experience pure love. It’s mixed many times with your desire to have something in return or interest of some kind. To live in true love is an extreme. Possibly in this age a total alienation and illogical, called out way of life. But probably a very rewarding and amazing experience to live.’ said Action, with a smile on his face, a smile that gave away that glimpse of hope.

‘We never stop loving someone. We just learn to live our lives without them’ said Words. And she believed in that. She believed that every person in our life was meant to be there in that moment, in that way, to teach us something. Something only they could do, and in only that particular way.
And even though people think that young love is overrated and not real, she thought that people who found their true love in their first try are the happiest. And she truly wished for them to be happy forever. Because, she wanted to be happy forever.

Happy ever after. That is what she wanted. A fairytale.

By Jelena Jekić

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Bojana

Editor at Anglozine
Anglozine editor and founder, literature student, translator and copywriter.